It can be a challenge to enjoy the holidays when you have dementia. Everything can seem that much more difficult! So many people, too many things to do, and how do we manage to have the family over for dinner? Over the years, participants in To Whom I May Concern® have shared some tips with us. We thought we’d pull together some of them here. We hope these ideas help you to enjoy the holidays when you have dementia and make these next few weeks a little more peaceful.

Enjoying the Holidays with Grandchildren

No matter how much you love your grandchildren, they can be pretty hyper around this time of year, especially where gifts and chocolate are involved.  If you find yourself getting a little irritable, it’s probably due to the fast pace of their little feet and their high-pitched voices.  Find a quiet spot for a while to regroup.  You’ll be fine.  Everyone goes home eventually!

Find a Quiet Place

People and chaos in your space can be quite exhausting! An accommodation that people living with dementia request when they attend conferences is a quiet room away from the maddening crowds. The quiet room is stocked with beverages, snacks and comfortable chairs. Why not implement the same strategy at home?

With your care partner, assign a room that is YOUR quiet space and is off-limits to your guests and family members. Stock with with your favourite beverages and a few healthy snacks. Play some quiet music and make sure there’s a comfortable place for you to sit down or stretch out. Do some deep breathing while you’re there!

With your care partner, institute a code word or sign that indicates you’re taking a time out, and enjoy your quiet space guilt-free. When you’re ready to rejoin the festivities, you will enjoy them with renewed focus and energy.

Just Give Me a Minute!

Conversations can also be a little hyper, especially around the family table.  You may find it hard to get a word in!  Remind people to “just give me a minute” (our most famous and consistent line in every performance of TWIMC). If you find this difficult, focus on having one-on-one conversations with family and friends in a quiet corner.

Manage the Conversation

Another strategy for staying involved in a conversation is to introduce a topic that you are comfortable talking about.  Doing so would give you more control over the conversation.  

Entertaining a Crowd

Who says you and your care partner have to cook a big dinner? Many people with dementia find getting organized to make a recipe or plan a meal to be taxing. Save your energy for welcoming your guests and let someone else cook instead.

Order in a full dinner; most grocery stories offer catered holiday meals with all the fixings for reasonable prices. And, if you were to put a price on your time and energy, you’d find the cost is more than justified.

Alternatively, ask guests to contribute to a pot luck meal. Assign guests to bring an appetizer, main, or dessert. Track who is bringing what so that you don’t end up with ten desserts. Keeping a list and providing the plates and utensils is all you need to do.

Be Open and Honest

Over the years, we’ve observed individuals who are open and honest with their family, friends and community about their diagnosis, the challenges they are experiencing, and how people can help. They tend to be included more in their social circles, are more active, are engaged in more activities, and seem generally happier and more fulfilled.

If you have not already, tell a small circle of family and friends about your diagnosis and gauge their reactions. You can refer them to the videos on the To Whom I May Concern® website of past performances, where people aware of their cognitive changes share personal stories about their diagnosis, coping strategies, and what support they would like from those around them. Once you’re comfortable, widen the circle!

_________________________________

We can go on and on with suggestions on how to enjoy the holidays when you have dementia.  We’ve learned so much from you over the past 18 years of To Whom I May Concern®.  But for now we just want you to know how much we appreciate you.  We look forward to 2025 and many more opportunities to support your voices.  Being aware of your cognitive challenges is not easy but if we’ve learned anything, it’s that when you share your stories with loved ones, you will find an inner strength that gives life meaning.  And those who listen will be changed forever.